Monday, March 30, 2009

Losing my Motivation

For those of you who don't know, I have been running. I was really proud of myself last week. I exercised 5 days in a row. That's amazing for me. I really really really want to learn how to run. This morning I got online to check what the 2nd week would be and I saw that I had messed up last week's training. I was supposed to run Friday and Saturday. I just thought I was supposed to run every other day and then walk on the days I weren't running. I messed that up, but at least I still did something that day. This week I'm a little nervous. Here is the plan:
Monday: Run 2 min Walk 1 min
Tues: Walk 30 min
Wed: Run 3 min. Walk 1 min (How am I going to catch my breath after 3 minutes of running in 1 min??)
Thurs:Walk 30 min
Friday:Run 4 min. Walk 1 min. (What the crap??!?)
Saturday: Run 4 min. Walk 1 min. (I don't know if I'll be able to move after Friday to do this one.)

So basically by the end of this week I should be able to run 4 mins without stopping. You might be thinking,"Oh, 4 minutes-that's not long at all." No! Four minutes is a very long time to be running. I don't even run straight out. I am a pretty decent sprinter. I never sprinted for track or anything and I couldn't actually beat someone who does sprint-but if I was running with people who were equally nonathletic then I could beat them sprinting. I thought that I was proud of myself last week. If I actually complete this week I might make myself a t-shirt saying,"Yeah, I did get off my lazy tail." I am determined to do this. Last week, I thought it was not that difficult. I wouldn't say that it was easy, but I really concentrated on my breathing and speed. I wonder if there's a song that just says over and over,"Don't quit, Dana. Keep going! Remember that you want to have smaller boobs and be skinny again." Does anyone know of a song like that? Maybe I should try to find Ellen singing,"Just keep swimming." from Finding Nemo. That would probably encourage me. So far, I don't really see a difference in my body. It's probably because I was bloated and running for only one minute doesn't exactly boost your metabolism and shrinks your body. I do feel better in my clothes though. Andrew said that he thought my boobs were getting a little smaller. Oh yeah, maybe instead of them being 2 1/2 handfuls they might be down to 2 1/3. That makes me feel really good. I am hoping that my calves won't hurt so much this week. Andrew swears that I am supposed to stretch before I run. All of the articles that I have read says that I am supposed to stretch afterwards and do a warm up walk for 2-3 minutes beforehand. Normally I have only been walking 2 minutes, but since I will only be able to walk for one minute between each running time I might walk about 5 just to enjoy the ability to breathe. I always take breathing for granted until I can't. Isn't that always how it goes? I wish I had someone to run with me. Andrew would get annoyed at my stopping and starting, but he also has to save his energy for working third shift. I can't drive to Jackson everyday to run with Steph for several reasons. One, she never gets off at the same time. Two, I don't want to drive to Jackson every day and she wouldn't want to drive here. I do run with my phone in my pocket just in case she calls and gives me something to listen to that distracts me besides music. For me to really be able to run, I need to depend on me. If I base my workout around someone else, I don't do it if that person couldn't do it with me. I would just say,"Oh Steph didn't get off work early enough. I guess I won't go running today." I always feel better about doing it though, no matter how much pain I am in. Saturday I was really hurting. It was nice though to have my legs hurting because of running instead of hurting because I wore heals all day or because they were holding up my fat body. That's a lot of work. They are probably exhausted. After I return from running, I am so proud of myself that I immediately stretch and do crunches and lift weights. I want my arms to move and people to see the muscle definition. I would like for running to become so normal that it's just like taking a shower. I want to put on a bathing suit this summer and look better than anyone else, or at least better than what I did last summer. I bought two new bathing suits last year at the end of bathing suit season. They are really cute bikinis. I have never worn them. I was saving them for the honeymoon just in case we ended up going to Mexico or somewhere that had a hot tub or pull. I haven't put the swimsuits on, but I don't even want to imagine myself in them. Maybe I'll put them on today just to encourage myself even more. I might take a picture of myself in them and post it on the mirror and do updates. I at least would like for my boobs to fit in the cups.

I have to end this blog now. I am really hungry. I'm thinking Mcdonalds. I think it's a good choice!

http://www.runnersworld.com/article/0,7120,s6-380-381--9397-2-1X5-3,00.html

Running website!

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