I want to brag bbuutt....

I can't brag. I can't even kinda brag. I only ran about 6 minutes yesterday. I have hurt my right leg pretty badly. I did get to brag to my mother though. I started running while she was on vacation, so I haven't been able to tell her. She was so proud of me. She told me to stretch my leg good, then take a break with the running for a few days and just walk. She then suggested that I start over again with the plan. That might be a good idea, so that I will be able to run for a minute like a pro. I would probably be able to boost my speed. I slept with a heating pad on my leg and bengay is my friend. I haven't used bengay since colorguard. When I put on the bengay,I thought, "Hello, Old Friend!"
Speaking of old friends...
For our Discipleship Training class we are doing 40 days of love. It isn't just about husband and wife love, it's about all relationships. After each week, we have a homework assignment. This week's assignment was to show a friend that we care by praying for them, asking them for coffee, emailing them, talking to them on the phone, or mailing a letter. That was hard for me. I didn't know what to do. My friends from high school and college have really been on my heart lately. I wonder how they are doing and I wonder if any of that relationship could be mended. I decided to put on my big girl panties and try. I didn't think that I was ready to talk to all of the girls. I have been talking to Heather on Myspace for sometime now. I don't really have any hard feelings towards her. I don't think she does for me either. If I am ever in the Nashville area, I would love to see her. Since our relationship has already become a work in progress, I decided to hit up her twin sister Lindsey. I can't remember the last time Lindsey and I have talked. Probably on her birthday almost 2 years ago. I opted to send Lindsey a facebook message because I didn't want to call her because that could be awkward. I can't ask her for coffee because she lives in Paducah,and I don't know her email address so that leaves out the email. I wanted to message to seem light hearted. I asked how she was doing. I asked about her job and how married life was. I joked about how big my boobs had gotten. I told her about how I was trying to run because she used to be a big runner. I shared with her which pictures from Heather's wedding I loved that she was in. Then in the end, I actually shared my heart with her. This is the last thing in the message:
"I have to make a confession. When I looked at your wedding pictures, I bawled like a baby in my office. I hate that I wasn't there. You looked absolutely beautiful and I hate that we have drifted apart. I'm not quite sure why because we have never gotten into a huge argument (except for us fighting over John,hahaha!!!) Update me on your life! Tell Todd hi for me."

I really hope that she sends me a message back. Maybe if she sends me a message back I could call her on the phone. Maybe if we talk on the phone we'll be able to meet up in Dyersburg sometime. Maybe if I make a connection with Heather and Lindsey, I'll be able to talk to Lauren. I don't want to be best friends with them again. I just want to be friends. I don't want them to look back at me and think bad thoughts. I just want to have more than 2 good friends. It just makes me sad that I really only talk to one person on the phone.

Addenda

The Mcdonald's was very good.


I don't understand why I'm not losing weight,hahaha.

Losing my Motivation

For those of you who don't know, I have been running. I was really proud of myself last week. I exercised 5 days in a row. That's amazing for me. I really really really want to learn how to run. This morning I got online to check what the 2nd week would be and I saw that I had messed up last week's training. I was supposed to run Friday and Saturday. I just thought I was supposed to run every other day and then walk on the days I weren't running. I messed that up, but at least I still did something that day. This week I'm a little nervous. Here is the plan:
Monday: Run 2 min Walk 1 min
Tues: Walk 30 min
Wed: Run 3 min. Walk 1 min (How am I going to catch my breath after 3 minutes of running in 1 min??)
Thurs:Walk 30 min
Friday:Run 4 min. Walk 1 min. (What the crap??!?)
Saturday: Run 4 min. Walk 1 min. (I don't know if I'll be able to move after Friday to do this one.)

So basically by the end of this week I should be able to run 4 mins without stopping. You might be thinking,"Oh, 4 minutes-that's not long at all." No! Four minutes is a very long time to be running. I don't even run straight out. I am a pretty decent sprinter. I never sprinted for track or anything and I couldn't actually beat someone who does sprint-but if I was running with people who were equally nonathletic then I could beat them sprinting. I thought that I was proud of myself last week. If I actually complete this week I might make myself a t-shirt saying,"Yeah, I did get off my lazy tail." I am determined to do this. Last week, I thought it was not that difficult. I wouldn't say that it was easy, but I really concentrated on my breathing and speed. I wonder if there's a song that just says over and over,"Don't quit, Dana. Keep going! Remember that you want to have smaller boobs and be skinny again." Does anyone know of a song like that? Maybe I should try to find Ellen singing,"Just keep swimming." from Finding Nemo. That would probably encourage me. So far, I don't really see a difference in my body. It's probably because I was bloated and running for only one minute doesn't exactly boost your metabolism and shrinks your body. I do feel better in my clothes though. Andrew said that he thought my boobs were getting a little smaller. Oh yeah, maybe instead of them being 2 1/2 handfuls they might be down to 2 1/3. That makes me feel really good. I am hoping that my calves won't hurt so much this week. Andrew swears that I am supposed to stretch before I run. All of the articles that I have read says that I am supposed to stretch afterwards and do a warm up walk for 2-3 minutes beforehand. Normally I have only been walking 2 minutes, but since I will only be able to walk for one minute between each running time I might walk about 5 just to enjoy the ability to breathe. I always take breathing for granted until I can't. Isn't that always how it goes? I wish I had someone to run with me. Andrew would get annoyed at my stopping and starting, but he also has to save his energy for working third shift. I can't drive to Jackson everyday to run with Steph for several reasons. One, she never gets off at the same time. Two, I don't want to drive to Jackson every day and she wouldn't want to drive here. I do run with my phone in my pocket just in case she calls and gives me something to listen to that distracts me besides music. For me to really be able to run, I need to depend on me. If I base my workout around someone else, I don't do it if that person couldn't do it with me. I would just say,"Oh Steph didn't get off work early enough. I guess I won't go running today." I always feel better about doing it though, no matter how much pain I am in. Saturday I was really hurting. It was nice though to have my legs hurting because of running instead of hurting because I wore heals all day or because they were holding up my fat body. That's a lot of work. They are probably exhausted. After I return from running, I am so proud of myself that I immediately stretch and do crunches and lift weights. I want my arms to move and people to see the muscle definition. I would like for running to become so normal that it's just like taking a shower. I want to put on a bathing suit this summer and look better than anyone else, or at least better than what I did last summer. I bought two new bathing suits last year at the end of bathing suit season. They are really cute bikinis. I have never worn them. I was saving them for the honeymoon just in case we ended up going to Mexico or somewhere that had a hot tub or pull. I haven't put the swimsuits on, but I don't even want to imagine myself in them. Maybe I'll put them on today just to encourage myself even more. I might take a picture of myself in them and post it on the mirror and do updates. I at least would like for my boobs to fit in the cups.

I have to end this blog now. I am really hungry. I'm thinking Mcdonalds. I think it's a good choice!

http://www.runnersworld.com/article/0,7120,s6-380-381--9397-2-1X5-3,00.html

Running website!

Jame 1-2

God has really been laying something on my heart recently. It started this past Sunday during Sunday school. We were discussing Nehemiah and how he was trying to rebuild the wall. While he was trying to organize this wall building party, the people were going through a depression (like today). The people were wondering why they should be helping him while they didn't have money for their own families and they should be working their fields so that they could have food to eat. Nehemiah had to stop what he was doing and listen to the cries of the people and try to help them by going to the king and beg him not to tax the people so much and beg for their family members back from slavery. I feel that is what I do with my job. The lesson was basically on how people should open their eyes around them and see the hurts of the people in the community.
I got tickled during Sunday school because I don't have that option of ignoring people's needs. I can't tell people, I'm sorry your baby doesn't have any food. My husband and I got into a fight or we are poor, or I have a lot of paperwork to complete and I don't have time for you. NO! I have to find a way to get this family food. I have to make sure families have insurance,food, money for utilities, clothes, and a roof over their heads. That is so normal for me. I have to have a heart for the weary and the downtrodden. I can't say,"Maybe some other time," or "I'll do it when it's convenient for me." Often times I have been telling my husband or friends about certain situations and their response is less than comforting. I can't even take their advice because they don't have the heart. They aren't empathetic for these families.
I met a family that has six children, no electricity, no running water, and they are too poor for vehicles. When I told some people about this situation their response to it was,"Shouldn't the mother have learned to have kept her legs together." That's not the point though. The point is is that that's their life and I have to do something to help. We donated to this family a microwave. This wasn't a new microwave by any means. It was just a normal microwave that someone had donated to us. It was clean. When this family saw the microwave, they cried. In their home, they don't have a stove so the only way they could cook would be with a microwave. They were very appreciative of the microwave, but the thing they were most appreciative for was the fact that the microwave wasn't a piece of crap. Yes, poor people need items and they don't have the money to pay for them, but they don't want to feel worse about their lives by receiving someone's junk charity.
I also have a client tell me that she hated all people who went to church. Now, this lady is a Christian and believes in God. She had a greater faith that God will provide more than anyone else I know. She has to rely on that faith because if God doesn't provide then they won't be able to eat or have gas for their vehicle to go grocery shopping. The reason she said that she hated people who went to church was because they were just going for themselves and they didn't have a heart for the needy. This particular client has a mixed granddaughter. Her granddaughter has been turned away from a birthday party because the birthday girl's mother didn't know that this child was mixed. How hurtful and rude is that? And that mother goes to church!! I informed my client that indeed I went to church pretty much every Sunday. My client shared with me that she believed that I was one of the few who actually cared about helping others. This conversation let me to the first couple chapters of James. I am just going to include a few verses to highlight my point.


2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.


12 Blessed are those who persevere under trial, because when they have stood the test, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because our anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23 Those who listen to the word but do not do what it says are like people who look at their faces in a mirror 24 and, after looking at themselves, go away and immediately forget what they look like. 25 But those who look intently into the perfect law that gives freedom and continue in it—not forgetting what they have heard but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.
26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. 27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

James 2
2 Suppose someone comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor person in filthy old clothes also comes in. 3 If you show special attention to the one wearing fine clothes and say, "Here's a good seat for you," but say to the one who is poor, "You stand there" or "Sit on the floor by my feet," 4 have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?

8 If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, "Love your neighbor as yourself,"[a] you are doing right. 9 But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers.


14 What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if people claim to have faith but have no deeds? Can such faith save them? 15 Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to them, "Go in peace; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? 17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

I end my blog by asking the readers to open their eyes to the people around them. Just because people might look like "White Trash" or they are uneducated doesn't mean that they don't notice how you are looking at them. We need to love. Love just isn't saying it, it is an action word. The hard part of my job is that I can't save everyone. I can't make my clients rich or show them how not to struggle anymore, but I can show them that at least one person cares.

Kissing

I have been motivated to write a blog about kissing due to my best friends enigma. I remember my very first kiss very clearly. I remember that it just happened. I don't remember the feelings that I was feeling during it though. I wish I could, but I'm pretty sure that my first kiss was pretty short. I was more than a peck but less than a prowl,haha. I remember that for a while after I had experienced my first kiss, I wondered if I sucked. I later asked a friend who had also kissed my first kiss. I figured that if he was the one who taught me how to kiss and he was a good kisser than I was a good kisser. I asked my friend if my dude was a good kisser, in which I found out that indeed he was a good kisser. That means...drum roll please...I am a good kisser. I am not a kissing expert. I have only kissed 2 guys. Now grant it, I have kissed a lot, but I guess I'm pretty monogamous. I am a one man kisser now! I could never be a celebrity. They kiss everyone. They might just make out randomly with someone or have to make out with someone with a bunch of cameras around. I couldn't do it. It's too personal. Do I wish that I had waited until marriage to kiss Andrew? No. I don't regret anyone (All 2 ppl) that I kissed before the marriage. I enjoy showing someone that I care for them with more than a hug or a pat on the back. I also remember the cute little ditty that goes:

A kiss is a kiss

A plum is a plum

A kiss isn't a kiss

Without some tongue.

I have never got caught in someone's braces, but I have knocked teeth and bumped noses and gotten my hair caught in someone's glasses. I am awkward. This is true. I am so excited for my friend and that these are worries that she is going through now. Yay!!

Spring, Spring, Spring!

I love Spring. I really don't have a favorite season. Every fall, I think, "Now THIS is my favorite," but then comes spring and,"Spring is my fav." I think what I enjoy is the in between of extremes. In the Spring, it's sunnier, warmer, and flowers are starting to bloom, but it isn't extremely Tennessee summer hot. It's such a nice adjustment from sweaters, coats, scarves, and hats to just jeans and a cute top. You don't dread going outside and frankly, after avoiding the cold winds for several months, you actually look forward to walking to your car when you leave work just for those few seconds of sunlight and good ole' Vitamin D. I love fall because the summer is so blazing hot and you can actually walk outside without breaking into a sweat. For both seasons you are able to get out those clothes that you forgot you had. Every year I hate changing out the clothes, but I enjoy seeing the items I bought towards the end of the season and forgot that I had. It's almost like shopping again. I love the sunshine and the warmth. Now I can go swing at the park and not die of frostbite or look like an idiot swinging in the snow (if we ever got any). I can't wait to buy a swing and put it outside in the backyard. I want to sit outside, read a book, watch the cows (Steph) graze, and smell the burgers on the grill. Fellowshipping with friends is so much easier when it's warm. Entertainment is cheaper-"Who wants to tan? or Who wants to swing at the park? or Who wants to go jump in the leaves? or Who wants to go for a drive with the windows down and sing loudly to girly music that no one else likes? I DO I Do I DO!!!

Fatty McFatsy Strikes Again!!!

I really have been making an effort to diet. This past week I have eaten a lot of broccoli, salmon, tilapia, and grilled chicken. I have discovered that I love the crockpot. There's a very good chance that I could screw something up when I use the oven, but the crockpot is a whole new ball game for me. I did have a slight incident when I didn't know the difference between rib eye and ground beef. I did have a mishap on Sunday and Saturday. I had sweet tea instead of water and I had a big steak for dinner and macaroni and cheese for lunch. For Sunday I had breakfast twice-for breakfast and for dinner. For lunch, I gave in and had a hamburger and fries at Steak and Shake. Who goes to Steak and Shake for a salad anyways?? I did resist a root beer float though. I was pretty proud of myself. Today is Monday though and I'm back on track. I will diligently sit at my computer and drink my water with the benefiber sprinkled in all day. Since I have been drinking so much water, I feel as if I am that lady from the "Got to go right now" commercial. The feeling to urinate doesn't occur gradually. It occurs IMMEDIATELY!!! I have had to stop mid sentence with my boss more than once. Drinking the water all day does help me with not snacking. Yum Yum water!!!

You got a Purty mouth!

After getting to work at 8:00am, I worked ALL DAY LONG, did a few visits and I also agreed to teach the 2nd half of a four hour long parenting class because Amanda sometimes double books herself. I don't mind teaching the parenting class. I have even had to teach all of it before. It only happens once a month. The class is called Forever Parents. It is required by the state of TN for all parents who are getting a divorce. It reminds the parents what is important and how to teach the children that it's not their fault that their mommy and daddy are getting a divorce. I don't feel as if I am qualified to teach this class. Let me rephrase that. I am qualified, but I haven't experienced any of the things that I am teaching. My parents are still married, so I am not a child of divorce. I am now married, but we haven't been married for very long...so I haven't even considered divorce once. We don't even have any children yet. So basically, I am teaching a class full of people who have experienced all of these things that I haven't and they are having to listen to this little pipsqueak of a girl tell them how to live their lives and how to be a good parent.


Anywho...


I had to teach the 2nd half of the parenting class last night. Normally there's a good mix of men and women. Last night there were three mens. I walked into the room and the youngest of the mens smiled really big at me. This is what I see...

Really?? You are smiling with a face like that??? I have never seen meth mouth up close before. I have dealt with clients that have smoked meth, but their teeth just looked bad. I wanted to ask him how much meth his ex-wife had to smoke before she would kiss that ugly grill. He kept smiling at me through the whole thing. Good thing I hadn't had dinner yet or it would have been all over the table. But you know, my throw up would have looked more appetizing than that. My boss wanted to know who would want to "suck face with that?" Some days of my job I feel as if I am making a difference. Then, there are those other days when you want to ask God why did He send someone like this into my life? Oh yeah, Mr. Meth Mouth has 3 kids and one on the way. Except that only 3 are from his wife. So this man has actually kissed more than 1 woman. I mean I know that you don't have to kiss to create a child. Maybe that's how. They don't kiss him. His sperm are just so wonderful, they just want to use him. Maybe he's smart...or maybe not. Just the thought of someone leaning in to kiss me looking like that is enough to make me not want to eat for days. Maybe that's my new diet plan. I'll just think of Mr. Meth Mouth when I want to skip my lunch and dinner. Now I'm motivated!!!!

Virginia in June

"Well, they say when you marry in June
You're a bride, all your life.
And the bridegroom who marries in June
Gets a sweetheart for a wife."
-Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

My best friend's twin sister is now engaged and planning a wedding for June...THIS JUNE!!!! I am so excited for her. I am not going to act like the all-knowing bride who can give a lot of advice for engaged couples. I hate when people do that. In fact, every couple is different. Jennifer's sister is going through a state of shock, thinking of all of their "last times" as single sisters. After hearing Steph make a list of things that they forgot to take pictures of and how holidays at the grandparents were going to change, I realized how much it was different for Lisa and I. Andrew and I had been dating since Lisa was 12 or 13, so basically Andrew was always there and it wasn't such a big shock to have him join the family because he was already a member. Andrew had already been sitting at the children's table, attending all birthday celebrations, and even joining family vacations. Lisa and I are also not twins. I am three years older than her, so our life experiences have happened at different times. I always experienced them first. For Steph and Jenn, everything has been at the same time...until now. I think Stephanie fills as if Jenn is getting to experience something ahead of her for the first time and is leaving her behind. They always started school together and ended school together (Barely, but they did end at the same time,haha). Even though Jenn began her career first, Steph did get a job within the year that Jenn did. Even though they were both in different cities, they were both experiencing new friends, new jobs, and a new feeling of loneliness. I am so excited for Jennifer and Elijah. My prayers are with them as they plan for a life together and decide how their lives will fit together. My only advice for Jenn is to remember her friends and family. Sometimes I have to put Stephanie on a back burner, but I do call her everyday. We might not be able to talk when it is convenient for either, but I make a big effort. Sometime I am on the phone with her while I am having dinner with my husband or I talk to her right before my husband leaves for work instead of saying good-bye to him. Don't get so wrapped up in the whole marriage thing that you forget the people who were there for you before "Someone put a ring on it." I love you Jennifer and Stephanie!!!


Oh yeah, I will be attending the wedding unless something doesn't allow me to whether I'm invited or not :)

God Knows.

God always seems to know when you need a little pick-me-up. And yesterday my pick-me-up was from a little five year old boy. I was up in my office really dreading all of the paperwork that I have to do. There is so much that i kinda start hyperventilating just thinking about it. I had my head in my hands when my boss called my office and told me that I had a visitor downstairs. She sounded like she had something up her sleeve. I knew it wasn't Andrew because Andrew doesn't have a vehicle to come surprise me. I head downstairs and when I got down to the front, no one was there but my boss. Amanda (The Boss) then said, "I don't know where your visitor went. He was here earlier." Suddenly a little head pops out behind a couch yelling "BBOOOOO!!!" I acted scared and the little boy just laughed and laughed as if I was the funniest person ever. He ran over to me and gave me the biggest hug. He then told me that he had had a bad day in Kindergarten and thought he would feel better if he saw Ms. Dana. Hearing that from him warmed my heart too. Who would have guessed that the thing I needed was to hear a little boy saying he needed a hug from Ms. Dana, because I needed a hug from him too. Those days when I am so exhausted from staring at the computer and my fingers are cramping because of all the typing I have had to do are well worth it when I see that what I am doing is making a difference. I hope that when that little boy is no longer a boy, he looks back and tells people that at one point in his life there was a lady named Ms. Dana who made him feel as if he could accomplish anything. That's what keeps me going at my job. I want to be that person that someone says made an impact on them. I want to be some one's Mr. Webster. Mr. Webster made just a positive impact on my life and I thank God for that man on a regular basis.

March Madness!!

I don't really know what March Madness is. I know it has something to do with sports, possibly Basketball, but I'm not sure. I am so glad that it's March. That means that the weather is slowly getting warmer, and it's one month until my birthday. March just sounds like a friendly month. Doesn't it? I am currently trying to lost weight. I have needed to get my butt into gear for a while. One of my best friends has currently lost a bunch of weight. I am so so SO proud of her!!!! She has encouraged me to get off my fat tail. I want to be able to strut proudly around the lake this summer in a bikini. Andrew thinks I'm hot. He thinks my body looks like Beyonce, I think it looks like Brittney Spears during her fat, crazy phase. I am trying to drink a lot of water and do a little something everyday. I considered joining Weight Watchers, but the meetings are at 5:30 on Mondays and currently Andrew and I are sharing the vehicle which he needs by 4:45 for class. They have it online too, but I don't see how motivating the online version would be. If I wanted to be a lazy tail, I just wouldn't go to the website. I was going to aerobics on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I dropped that because my schedule is never normal and the class was at 5:00 and I normally don't get off work until 5:30 or so. I have no motivation!! If I get tired on the treadmill, I just turn it off. I tried to do crunches during every commercial break yesterday (I forgot that was my plan after the first set of commercials). What should I do to get motivated??