The Girl Who Sniffs Her Hair

I have recently felt out of place. I have spent most of my life feeling this way. I have always felt like the weird girl that no one wants to have on the team. I relate to the movie Superstar a lot. Now while I'm not exactly like her, she doesn't fit in very well. Just when I feel as if I'm fitting in, something occurs and I feel like a sore thumb just sticking out.

Elementary school: I was just coming into my oddness. My buck teeth were just coming in good which really accentuated the purple glasses and the teacher style haircut I rocked. During these years my parents decided to move us to a small town. Great! Now I really how a chance to fit in. I was not popular. I will eternally be grateful to Amy Dyer who said hi to me on the first day of school and invited me to my first Dyersburg sleep over. I didn't have a good friend until I met Erika Decker. We were both the oddballs and I loved her dearly.

Middle through High School: I actually had a boyfriend. Several actually. I am even marrying my high school sweetheart. I don't define myself by having boyfriend though. I felt like an odd ball. I was made fun of and bullied at church and I always felt like I was the ugly ducking with my friends.

College: Here it is, my time to shine. Wait, the same girls that were at high school with me are at college. They might have different names, but their priorities are the same. I've never been the party girl. I enjoy being a homebody and watching a movie. I hate being around people that demand attention. I would prefer to sit in a corner and observe the craziness.

Career: Now, I'm an adult. I'm getting married in a month. I have my own house, bills, and office. Everything is going swell for me. I still don't fit in. It seems that once you become an adult you need to begin smoking and inserting a cuss word for every second. Even my best friend has picked up the habit. My boss has gotten used to me and now lets the words fly. Do I need to pick up a cigarette and let some choice words fly out of my mouth to finally fit in with the world?

2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
-Romans 12:2

That's one of my favorite verses. I try to remember it at times when I feel that I am flawed and don't fit in. Maybe that's why I'm different. What kind of person would I be if I accidentally let cuss words fly out of my mouth when I had children in my car. I got into this field to make a difference. What kind of difference would I make if I was just like everyone else. I think that through this blog I have made myself feel better. Maybe I should change the title from "The Girl who sniffs her hair" to "The Girl who does not conform." HHmmmm....