I am Selfish

Today I was reminded about how truly selfish and ungrateful I really am.

I had to go out and see an old client this morning and as an afterthought, I brought her several bottles of dish soap. When I arrived at her house, we caught up on what was going on in her life and how her granddaughter was doing in school. I finally gave her the wal-mart sack to show her what I brought for her.

It was nothing. It was soap.

When she looked into the sack and saw what was placed so haphazardly in there, her eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped. Thank you, Ms. Dana she said.

She then went on to share with me that she had run out of dish soap three days ago and she had been unable to wash any dishes because they did not have the funds purchase the soap. This lady has a yard sale every day and the money that she collects from her yard sale helps get her family through the winter. The day before I brought the soap she said she made $2. $2. She was worried about how her family was going to make it through the harsh winter and she was afraid that their lights and heat were going to be turned off if she did not make enough money with her yard sale. Her son has been digging through trash to find scrap metal. I am not making this up. He has found a place where people are illegally dumping their trash and he seeps through other people's junk to find metal to help take care of his family. He has gotten bitten by a tick and his foot has swelled up, but he is more scared that someone will make him stop than his foot falling off.

The night before I brought the soap to their house, they were discussing prayer and how God works. The son told his mother, some people say not to pray to God for the little things because He already knows our needs, but I think that we should be able to pray for the little things. That night his mother and himself got down on their knees and prayed for soap so they could wash their dishes. They prayed that someone would come shop their yard sale and that an angel would bring them soap to wash their dishes.

My sweet-hearted client told me,"You are my angel from God." I'm not telling you this story to make you think that I am so wonderful that I can sense my client's needs and that God uses me. I'm not that great. God worked through me today, but He also taught me something in the process. Today I am thanking God for soap.

I have never prayed for soap, toilet paper, or clean clothes. There have been times in my life where I have been overdrawn in my bank account due to unwise decisions, but I have never hungered nor have I ever had to pray for something as small as soap.

I can count on one hand the number of times that I have cried in front of a client while doing my emotionally charged job. This time my right eye failed me as a tear sneaked through my tear ducts. She told me that she was blessed. She told me that she knew that God was at work in her life and she still had joy even though they continually struggle financially. How many times have I looked at my closet and thought that I have nothing to wear or glanced in my stocked cabinets and thought I have nothing to eat? Too many times.

I have a nice house, a great car that runs, my bills are payed every month, and I know that God is taking care of me. All of my worries seem so small now. I know that I will probably forget this moment in my life, but God used a sweet older lady in a nightgown with stringy unwashed hair to show me that my Lord is still in the business of caring.