Jealousy

My entire life I have struggled with not being good enough. With being ordinary. With not being pretty enough. Skinny enough, and the list could go on and on.

I've been dealing with the feelings of being ordinary. God uses the ordinary. He has to use the ordinary and not the spectacular because only God deserves the glory for the work He has done. I heard a woman who struggles with dyslexia talk about how she has written more books than she has read. She believed that that was possible because God had to take a person who didn't have a thought in her head in order for the book to be completely from Him.

I can't handle your good or your bad.
Sometimes I look at the beautiful people and wish that I had their jobs, body, life, spirit, faith, family....
But I have to remind myself that, yeah, their good is GREAT but could I handle their bad as well? Yes, she's a great writer but that is always expected of her. Yes, she's beautiful but is that all the people see when they look at her?

God has put me where He wants me for a reason. He has given me skills and the faith to deal with my good and my bad.

I'll take Steph for instance. She has a "glamorous" job where she gets to talk to all sorts of important people. Every day is different and she can move anywhere she wants. Hawaii anyone? That is so great, but I couldn't handle being in a job where my looks are very important and I worked in such a hostile and unChristian environment every day. I don't think I could handle being away from my family or spend the majority of my days begging for interviews.

I can't handle her good or her bad.

My friend Jessica. She seems to got it all together spiritually and is very smart when it comes to the bible. Her home is clean and she can cook better than Paula Deen! Her husband has been layed off for like a year now and they were wondering what they were going to do when his unemployment check runs out and they just found out that they are pregnant with twins. I couldn't handle that stress. Jessica can. Jessica just got a promotion and they have decided that her hubby is going to be a stay-at-home dad. God provided, but it was that inbetween where I don't think I could handle it.

I can't handle her good or her bad.

I hear all the time from Stephanie, "I don't know how you put up with [insert situation here]. "

She can't handle my good or my bad.

I have to trust and rely on the fact that God knows what He is doing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not unhappy with my life. I love my husband, job, house, dogs, and family but sometimes I just get caught up with comparing and dreaming about what if.