Old Memories

I'm a procrastinator. It's bad. It's the end of the fiscal year at work and it's time to play Make-Up Catch-Up with my time sheets. It's ridiculous really all the stuff they make us do. I turn in one form of a time sheet every pay period, but then they expect us to keep up with in on another form, which I don't. Maybe I'm not a procrastinator, maybe I'm "sticking it to the Man!"

Imagine my surprise when I was typing in my time for the months of August, Sept, October and I'm seeing words in my planner like MOM'S SURGERY, CHEMO, EMERGENCY SURGERY and the feelings and memories all come rushing back to me. I even have the day in my calender written when we went to go pick up my sister from her summer long mission trip. That was the day we made a quick trip to my mom's doctor before we left to get my sister. That was the day we found out she had breast cancer. I was sitting in my office in tears. Who knew writing stupid time sheets would be so emotional? I'm so thankful that my mom is happy and healthy, but that first chemo treatment. I will never forget that night as long as I live.

I remember placing the damp washcloth on my mother's forehead and calling out to God to let it be me that was in pain. I remember having to help my mother to the bathroom. She could barely take 3 steps without having to stop because of the pain. I remember vowing at that moment that whatever I could do to prevent cancer-whether it was not going to a tanning bed, making sure I have on sun screen, getting my yearly checkups on time- that I was do everything that I could. I do not want my future children to see me as I saw my mother that night.

I am so thankful that God was there during those moments. Just recently my mother got a letter in the mail from a church member saying how much my mother inspired her during those months because she just kept a positive outlook on life. I used to say that my grandfather was the strongest person I knew. I see where my mother got her strength from. I pray that I have only an ounce of my mom's perseverance.