I think this morning I can post about this without going into hysterics. I'm only going to type this one time and one time only. I have a hard enough time saying the word, let alone typing it. Here it is:
My wonderful mother has breast cancer.
I am afraid. Scared. Sad. Angry. Confused. Upset. Shocked. Worried. Put all of those words together and maybe a few more and that's how I feel. I'm not going to go into too many details, because I start crying and end up on the floor crying out to God and I am at work. But, the mass is in her left breast and behind the nipple, which means that even if we caught it early enough (which we don't know yet) she is going to have to have a mastectomy. We are discussing the options of having a double mastectomy that way she will not have to worry about the cancer spreading to her other breast and she could have a nice perky matching pair. We are scared of the unknown. I hate that I am so far away from my mother. Well, 2 hours isn't so far away but it is when you are as close to your mother as I am. We are wanting to have the surgeries as soon as possible so that we can get rid of the not knowing part. We don't even know what stage she is in yet.
Please please please keep my family in your prayers. My dad is a truck driver and doesn't get to come home very much. Luckily he had planned to come home next week anyway. It's hard for both of them. My mom has a very strong faith, but we keep asking Why me? Why her? Why my mother? My mom runs 5 miles a day. Eats healthy and has more energy than anyone I know. It just goes to show that cancer is the most unbiased thing in the world. I am not handling it very well. Yesterday and the day before was really tough on me. So far today I haven't gotten too upset. Just remember us in your prayers.
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