Poo on Self-Esteem

I have always had low self-esteem. I don't know if it is genetic, but I do believe that parents pass on their insecurities to their children. Growing up, I would hear my mom tell about how she was so shy and self-conscious growing up. She would share how she had horrible acne and that she didn't know how to tame her curly hair. I remember the first time I got a zit and she told me of my fate-My father and her both had horrible acne problems and I surely was going to receiving these little blessings. OH NO!!! Thankfully (and selfishly) the acne gene grazed over me and landed like a tub of oil and puss on my sister. I have had pimples, but not bad enough to have to go to dermatologists. The reason that I'm sharing this lovely piece of information with all of my devoted readers (hahaha!!!) is that I have to teach my young impressionable clients about self-esteem. I struggle with this every year. How am I supposed to teach these girls to recognize their strong points and be proud of how God created them when I constantly struggle with this myself?

Psalm 34:5 says: "Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame."

2 Corinthians 3:18 says:
And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

Psalms 139
13For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

Anyone who has ever lived with me would tell you that I am lazy with getting ready. I have gotten a little better with age, but I hate putting make-up on and doing my hair. In college, you were lucky if I showered that day. If I did shower, you could pretty much bet that my hair would be back in a ponytail and there would be little or no make-up on. I felt that make-up wasn't covering up my imperfections, so let them shine. I also didn't have much to do with my hair because it took so long to do.

I have learned several things though over the past couple of months.
1. I have great hair.

This takes a lot for me to say, because for the longest time I believed that there wasn't anything great about my appearance. I have come to this conclusion because of my mother. My mom complained about her kinky curly hair everyday and now it's gone. We don't know how her hair is going to look after it grows back after chemo, so her beautiful curly hair might be gone forever. I need to be thankful for what God has given me and take care of it NOW. I have been trying to do my hair more. I used to wear my hair in a ponytail at least 3 days out of the work week. Now, I'm only allowing myself to do that one time-unless there's an emergency and I am running extremely late.

2. I have pretty eyes.

This has not come out of my mind, but out of the mouths of babes. I was doing a visit with one of my precious children that I could just take home with me and love on and I had let her older sister participate in the visit. We were playing a game called "The Feel Good Every Day Game." I pulled a card that said "say something nice to the person on your right." I said something nice to the sister on my right. She wasn't supposed to say anything back to me, but she did. She told me that I had beautiful eyes and my client agreed with her. I just told the girls thank you, but inside I was thinking,"Do I really?" I did not go home and stare at myself in the mirror, but I just took their words for it.

High self-esteem can not be built by your parents telling you that you are beaufiful, it can not be built by your friend telling you that you are not ugly, and it certainly can't be improved by dating guys and marrying someone who is not ugly. I know that Andrew thinks that I am beautiful, but I could be a super model and still be dealing with self-esteem issues. Stephanie's job puts a majoy emphasis on outward appearance. I couldn't do it. Luckily, I am in a job that people just want you to care and listen. My friend Leslie who does the same job as me in another county said it wisely,"My clients don't fix their mullets for me, so why should I fix mine for them?" Leslie doesn't have a mullet by the way.

I am thankful that God uses me and that through my imperfections, God is made perfect.