My Safety Net

My mom told me that you aren't a true runner until you pee or poop in public. I might be eating my words later, but I will never be a real runner if that is what it comes down to. While I am training for the half-marathon, McDonald's is my safety net, or safety toilet if you will.

Bolivar streets run on a really easy grid system and I run on the side that leads to McDonalds. When I started my run at 6:00am, I knew immediately that I was in trouble. My stomach would clench and then as soon as I would decide to head to the golden arches I would feel fine again. I was playing constant mind games with my tummy. Do I? or Do I Not? Then I amused myself with thinking about how funny it would be to use the restroom in public along my training path. Let's see, where would the best place be to go...First Baptist? the high school? the elementary school? I know! Across the street from a client's home! See, it's just not gonna happen for me.

I guess I'm just not that hardcore.

I have not posted here in over a month. That is just unacceptable. It's not like I don't check my blogs every day.

Today I would like to toot my own horn. I had the best run ever this morning!! It wasn't that it was incredibly long or anything, but it was pretty effortless. That shows that I'm making a lot of improvement. With the past week being so freakin' hott, I have felt miserable when I have been running. I have been regretting my decision of signing up for the half marathon in December and really feeling alone and dejected. I wasn't seeing any progress, and in fact I was seeing negative progress if that was even possible.

There were days where I knew that I had run 2 miles and I would look down at my watch and see that I hadn't even run a mile. Oh my gosh. I was miserable. The positive side of things was that I kept trying. On the days that I was supposed to run, I ran. Even if I wasn't able to run the entire time I would run/walk the distance.

Today was different though. I thought it was going to be the same. I had the worst night of sleep that I have ever had in a LONG time. I was up for so long, i thought I might as well go run at 3:30 since I was up. I ended up leaving at 5:50, but I think the difference might have been that I knew that I was going to be tired so I made some iced coffee before I hit the door. I try not to be a big coffee drinker, especially before I run but this really did the trick. I had enough energy to keep me going. I kept a good pace the entire time and before I knew it. I had reached my distance for the day which was 3.5 miles. Rock on! I proudly wore the sweat on my face as I strutted back to my house. I was literally dancing in my street. I wonder what my neighbors thought of me as I shook my groove thing in my driveway. Oh well, they were probably just getting their lazy tails out of beds while I was kicking butts and taking names!

Cross Training?

My plan with training was going to get my 3 mile run to a place where it was as normal as breathing. That was until I went for my first run on Tuesday, and I ran my 3 miles effortlessly. Well, maybe effortlessly isn't the best word but I wasn't miserable and I knew that I was able to officially start my training.

If you are interested HERE is the training plan I am using. I chose this one because you aren't running on Mondays. On Monday's I need as much energy as possible for class and for nothing else. I can get up and do some yoga and free weights on Monday.

I'm a little worried about my cross training options. Everything I read said that your cross training can be swimming, biking, zumba, skiing, or anything that is using other muscles besides the ones you use for running. I even read somewhere that you could walk if you wanted to. That's what I chose to do this morning. I put the leash on Portia and hit the pavement. I didn't walk as fast as I probably should have, but at least I was doing it. I'm excited about seeing if I'll be able to run the 4 miles this week.

That will be a new personal best for me, but the fun part is that I will be increasing that personal best every week!

December 3rd=Death or Victory

This ^ will be me on December 3rd 2011!!

I am running in the St. Jude Half Marathon!

I'm so excited but really really really nervous.

I'm barely able to run 3 miles, but I decided to run 13.1 anyways.

I've got the socks, the shoes, the Garmin Forerunner 305.

Even the spandex capris

I'm legit. Too Legit Too Legit to Quit (At least I hope so).

This is truly on my bucket list.

My goal is to really get back up to my 3 miles this week.

I took a running break because we had vacations, extremely hot weather, and laziness.

I'm easily running two so I just have to get that 3 miles back in.

Hopefully I will be back to three miles by the end of this week

So I can officially start my training.

I need major support and encouragment.

If I die...make sure I'm buried in my t-shirt and medal...

with my spandex capris.

Always a Bride, Never a Bridesmaid...

Until NOW!! I'm so excited to finally say that I have been a bridesmaid.







I can now say things like:

Uggh, those awful bridesmaid dresses. (Not really, I liked mine).
I can't believe our bride made us do that (Also not true)
When I was a bridesmaid...



I can understand how being a bridesmaid is stressful, but I have to admit that the fact that someone cared enough about me and our friendship to ask me to stand beside them while they married their true love was a wonderful feeling.

This was the bride.

This is totally out of focused for the blog. Her dress was so much prettier in person and she looked amazing!!



These were the bridesmaids:

And here is what I did when no one was looking:

I was totally the classiest bridesmaid there. Did I mention that it was 98 degrees and the wedding was outside. See, it makes more sense what I am doing now.

I had a wonderful time during the wedding and made some new friends.

Oh! And now I can say," Oh, this apron? It was my bridesmaid gift from my friend when she got married...because I was her bridesmaid."

Different Kinds of Friends

When we're little, everyone is our BESTEST friend. I have yearbooks where I highlighted people's names just because I knew who they were. How I knew them? I'm not sure. Maybe we had a class together, maybe we played ball together but in any case I called them a friend.

I realized the importance of friends when I didn't have any. My family had moved from a big city to a small town and I had no one. That was a tough year. I had very random friendships that year, and as I continued on in the school system I am proud to say that I only kept one of those friendships. Those friends were weird. Learning the Macarena to TLC's Waterfalls? Yeah, that's kinda weird.

There are several categories of friends.

Used to Be Friends:
These are the friends that made a very large impact of your life. These are the ones that you used to do everything with and at some point in time were considered your best friends. What happens to these friends? Sometimes you move away. Sometimes people change. You still care about them, you are Facebook friends but you wouldn't ask them to be a bridesmaid.

Soulmate friends:
These are few and far between. These are the ones that feed your soul. I thought I had this during middle/high/and college with the same group of girls. I was wrong. Soulmate friends are the ones that you can't imagine ever not knowing. They pray for you. They want the best for you, even if it means giving up something of their own. Competition is thrown out of the window. You are lucky if you have one of those. Stephanie is mine. I'm surprised that I have only known her for 6 years because I feel as I have known her my whole life. Stephanie is to Dana as Oprah is to Gayle. We are a packaged deal. Soulmate friends don't come around very often, but when they do they stay around.

Forever Friends:
I have several friends who I will be friends with forever. We might not have been as close as Soulmate friends, but I know that these people and I could sit and talk for hours. It really speaks of their character when you know that you could run into them randomly at the hometown Walmart and catch up quickly. I love these friends.

I was lucky enough to get to hang out with one for an entire day on our vacation. Ami is a kindred spirit, a bosom buddy if you will. I was worried that because I hadn't seen her in two and a half years, that things would be awkward. Nope. It felt like nothing had changed between us. We are two very different people, but very similar as well. I'm lucky to have her as a friend and I can't wait to see where life takes her.

Protecting My Goodies

This was me yesterday, except I was in a dress and my shoes didn't fly off of my feet. That was suprising considering I was wearing flip-flops. I definitely took a tumble and lived to tell about it. What makes this situation funny is what happened after I fell.

1. I fell in front of a client while I was walking to my car.

2. Once I assured her that nothing was hurt (but my pride), I told her that at least I kept my knees together in the dress.

3. She then decided to tell me that,"If she knew my husband, she would tell him that I did a good job at protecting my goodies."

MY GOODIES???!? Really?

Did I mention that when I fell, I fell DOWN a handicapped ramp? It was a triple decker, swirly type ramp and I fell down it. Isn't it supposed to be for safety reasons?

An Actual Happy Birthday

Yesterday was my 25th birthday. Most people get excited about their birthdays, but not me. Not because I'm scared of getting older, but because historically my birthdays have always sucked. I've had birthdays where everyone at the party ended up crying. I have had birthdays where people broke their toes. My favorite was when my fiance broke up with me right before my 21st birthday. That was really special. Even my 24th birthday sucked because I felt like no one really remembered it was my birthday, even my husband.

So you can see why birthdays cause me to feel a little hesitant. This year was SO much better!!

Andrew woke up early and made me birthday waffles! I love breakfast, but he doesn't ever wake up with me to eat it. That was exciting.

At work we have a tradition which is to decorate or "trash" someone's office when it's a special day. I walked in and our office manager pretended like she forgot my birthday and she totally convinced me until I went up to my office and their were balloons everywhere with streamers and decorations! That truly made my day!! Last year, our office manager came in late on my birthday and forgot about it completely. This totatlly made up for it.

Husband then came by with my birthday present after lunch. He got me some of the best birthday presents! I have really been working on losing weight and running, which means I've been drinking water like it's going out of style. We have filtered water at home, but it sucks when I drink all of my water at work and I just have nasty tap water to drink. Andrew got me a filtered water bottle that has the filter built right in. It's so cool! Then he got me running socks. These socks are so snazzy because they even have a specific foot each sock goes on. The cherry on top is an awesome watch that I can wear when I run that calculates the kcals burnt and I can set the time to countdown my warm-up and immediately start counting and timing my run.

After I got off work yesterday, I had to throw on my snazzy running sock and shoes and hit the pavement. Part of my birthday present was my hubby coming with me this time. I don't know if it was the fact that I had a big motivator with me or the fact that I wanted to start my 25th year on a fresh start but I ran 3 miles. 3 MILES!!!!!! I have been running 2 which was exciting but I stretched myself yesterday farther than every. I plan on making the 3 miles a regular distance until I begin training for a half marathon.

We then drove to Jackson to meet the family for birthday celebration time. I had told my mom that my puppy had chewed on every pair of my dress shoes for work, so she felt sorry for me. My present from my parents was to be able to pick out three pairs of shoes in Macy's!!!!! I've got some sexy shoes now!! I even was able to get nude pumps!!!!!!!! I have been waiting and wanting a pair for forever!! My feet and legs have never looked better!

When Andrew and I returned home from our day of fun, we found that our house had been tampered with by teenagers. We had writing all over Andrew's car, house windows, leaves in a pile underneath the carport, our hose was draped across the front of our carport with one of Andrew's shoes tied to it. I knew immediately who had done it and texted a mom and got confirmation. She sent her child and the other culprits to our house and quickly cleaned everything up. Andrew was so angry, but I couldn't help but feel loved because they wouldn't have done it if they didn't love their Ms. Dana.

This is an incredibly long blog, and if you made it to the end then I thank you,haha.
All in all, it was an amazing birthday surrounded by texts, facebook messages, and family. It couldn't have been better!

It's been a while since I have posted on the blog. Here is my life update in the form of a list:

1. I am up to running 28 minutes without stopping and I'm enjoying it.


2. I haven't really lost that much weight.


3. I have had to wear my glasses for several weeks now because my contacts are kaput and I don't have the time to go to the eye doctor.


4. It's almost my 25th birthday!

That's pretty much the update of my life. I know, it's lame.

More

It is not bad to dream or to have goals. You have those goals or dreams to make your life better, especially if it sucks.

Have you ever had a time in your life where everything was going good and you know what your goals should be, but you wanted more?

Is it selfish to have a "perfect" life but it not be enough?

The normal goals or dreams that I have are to finish school, get a better job, have children.

I want more. I feel as if what I'm doing now is not enough. I have this ache in my heart that might be God telling me that He wants to use me for me than what I'm doing.

Africa. Uganda. Orphans.

That is where my heart is leading me right now. My heart is leading me that way so much that I was researching how much money it would be to go to Uganda. $3200-$3600. That includes travel, food three times a day, an interreptur, places to stay, and I can't remember what else. I want to go, but it is very scary for me.

It's scary because I know my heart. I know that if I went to the orphanage in Uganda that I would be forever changed. Pieces of my heart would be left on that continent. Right now, there is nothing I would want to do more than to pack up my things and go hug and kiss on precious children who don't have a mommy or daddy to love them. I want to hold those babies and tell them that God created them for a purpose. I want to sing to them and do crazy motions to the songs. I want to play tag, do the hokey-pokey, and read to these precious children.

If I was honest with myself, I would leave my entire life behind here in TN if I had the opportunity. That's what is hard. If I had the opportunity to go to Uganda and work with the orphanage, I would have to bring my husband because my fear is if I don't, our marriage would become very difficult. If he didn't come with me (which would be out of duty, except if God changes his heart) he wouldn't understand the stories, the struggles, the love. I just know that if he went with me, his eyes would be opened to see why God wants us to love the orphans.

I want more than what my life is right now. I am incredibly in love with my husband. I love my dogs, my church, my job, my family, my friends, but is it enough? What is God wanting me to do? Where is God wanting me to go? Do I get the same satisfaction working with the youth and children here in my town?

I want to say "Send me. Use Me." to my God, but that is scary. It's scary because I know that He would and I would have to check my fears and insecurities at the door. Live by faith and not by sight.

Visiting Orphans from Amanda Lawrence on Vimeo.

Chocolate Milk

Growing up, I'm not sure I would define myself as a "Daddy's Girl." I loved my dad, but by the time I reached 10 he was so clinically depressed, I learned to stay far far away and to keep my mouth shut.

During happier times, before we moved my dad to D-burg, I was very close to my dad. One of my favorite memories is of my father buying me chocolate milk whenever we stopped at this one particular gas station. I always thought that it was the best thing ever. My mother never EVER bought me chocolate milk, but with my dad it was chocolate milk all the way!

Today I had a "Chocolate Milk" moment with my dad. My parents came to visit me and they really wanted to see the new Hibbitt's in town. I found a pair of running shorts that I liked. My dad said he would get them for me. He then told me that I couldn't have new shorts without a matching shirt. I explained that I ran in t-shirts and that I didn't need a running shirt. My dad would not hear of such a preposterous idea. He then picked me out a shirt to match my new shorts. But that was not before yelling across the store,"Do you need a new sports bra or do you get yours specially made?" It was then that I decided to say thank you for the shirt and shorts but to call it a day with my family at the local Hibbitts.

Really, Mother?

I'm so excited because my parents are coming to visit us this evening. I do talk to my parents quite often and I see them at least once a month, but the difference is that they NEVER come to old Bolivar. They are coming to bring me some auction items for my organization's fundraiser in April. My loving grandmother is donating one of her awesome quilts because she loves me so and wants for me to have a job, haha.

Many people might wonder what fun things there are to do in Bolivar. The true answer is there is not much.

We have our one screen movie theater. It plays one movie a week and it plays every night at 7:30. It's an old movie theater that hasn't been updates since...never. You don't have enough leg room and there is no surround sound, but the ticket prices are low and the snacks are even cheaper. My mom thinks my dad might enjoy experiencing the Bolivar Theater. He might, but seeing as my dad is 6'3, it might not be the most comfortable viewing experience.

We also have Fat Daddy's. They have all you can eat catfish on Friday nights and if you want, you can pay $5 and go into their back room for a good ole' country time. They have a country band and a huge dance floor so that you can get your line dancing on. It's fun just to watch the older couples getting jiggy wit it.

During the summer, you can go down to the square for music night. They have free entertainment and dancing as well.

On warm days, you can head to Chickasaw which is about 15 minutes away. They have trails, horses, swimming, and paddle boats.

What does my mom want to do on Saturday? Run! She's training for a half-marathon in April and Saturdays are her long run days. She plans on running 11 miles that day. I playing on "joining" her. I use the word joining loosely because I will go with her, but I will not be running 11 miles. I probably won't even start with her. I enjoy a good 5 minute warm-up before I even start wogging (that's walk/jogging). My mom does have a super cool new watch with a GPS that tells her how many miles she has run. My GPS is my breathing. When I start huffing and puffing, that means it is time for a walk. I might bring a book, so that when I have had all the "fun" that I can, I can stop by the pond and rest or nap.

A Remarkable Faith

I'm linking up to Giving Up on Perfect's blog today.



The best wedding that I will ever attend hasn't happened yet. Don't get me wrong, my wedding was a dream come true, but my favorite wedding will be my best friend's wedding. Her story is not my story to tell, but through her struggles she has taught me how to cherish the small every day moments with my husband.

She has waited and is waiting for God to show her that one person that He has meant for her. I know that when God does have them meet, there will be no greater love between a husband and wife. I know that her wedding will be very intimate and Christ-centered. I will proudly be standing beside her, observing the love between my best friend and her spouse.

When her day comes, I will gladly and unabashedly put on my bedazzled hot pink dress (or whatever she may ask of me) and my dyed to match shoes and be honored to be her best friend. I will proudly prepare my Matron on Honor speech (that I have already thought of) that will share examples on how the groom will make it living with his bride. I will gladly let his hand be the one that holds hers when she is crying and I will let his ear be the one that is listening to the crazy stories that his wife experiences daily. I will wait for the phone calls from the groom wanting to know why his wife is doing what she is doing.

I long and pray for the day when my best friend can know what that romantic love feels like and will be able to be unashamed of her hair in the morning in front of someone else besides me.

To my best friend/soulmate's future husband:
Get ready my friend for an adventure. You will hear stories that will make you slap your hand to your face and shake your head at her. You will hear stories that will make you laugh until it hurts. You will lead my friend, my sister through life and take the world by storm. I can't wait to meet you.

Through the mouths of babes

I have a "Devil Child" that I work with. She isn't really of the devil, but she is difficult. She is in special education classes at school and refuses to follow any directions or listen to anyone.

Yesterday, I was struggling, Y'all. I mean, fuh realz. I felt that my hard work was not paying off. I was considering signing up for some get-thin-quick program. When I am struggling like that, sometimes it just helps to talk outloud to God in the car.

The summary of our conversation went a little like this:
Dana: God, I feel like a fatty. Why did you make us retain water when you-know-what is coming around the corner?

God: Why are you worrying? You were made for more than this. You are beautiful.

D: Yeah, yeah. Whatever! I know that I was made for more than just a size and that man looks at the outward appearance, but You look on the inside. God, I'd be pretty hot if I looked like I do on the inside.

G: You are beautifully and wonderfully made. I love you no matter what the number on the scale is.

D: Yeah, but God, we all know that we base a lot of our thoughts on what people say about us. If someone tells us that we look nice, then we know that we look nice. I just feel that I'm working so hard at losing weight and as soon as I felt as if I was accomplishing something, it all comes back. Why even try?

G: Dana, you are working hard to make the best of what I gave you. I'm proud of you for going to the gym and drinking water all day, every day. In fact, you are drinking so much water-there is now shortage in your town (Okay, He didn't really say that, but I am drinking A LOT of water.)

D: God, I know that this is selfish but could you please please PLEASE show me some sort of sign to show that what I'm doing is really accomplishing something. Oh, and by the way could you change the molecular structure of Thin Mints. It's that time of year, and I would really like to devour a whole carton of cookies.

G: I love you and you are beautifully and wonderfully made.

Later on that day:
Child: (Digging through my car, found my headphones.) Ms. Dana, what are these?

D: Those are my headphones so I can listen to music through my phone when I go to the gym.

Child: Why do you go to the gym?

D: So I can get skinny.

Child: But Ms. Dana, you ARE skinny.

D: God bless you.

Child: But you really are Ms. Dana. You are skinny.

I knew at that moment that God showed me His love and showed that my hard work is not in vain through that sweet child. God cares about my vain requests. No matter how crazy they are.

Sharing my Heart

I am not a writer. I have never claimed to be. I really can't even remember why I started a blog. So many of the blogs that I follow have a purpose, but mine is just to have a place to share. I can share stories, struggles, and things that have stolen my heart.

In no form or fashion can what I'm about to write truly convey what is on my heart. I am currently sitting in my office in tears. Not sweet tears, but the ugly, streaming down my face, my heart aches tears. I'm having difficulty sharing this without the tears flowing down my face and ruining my make-up that I so painstakingly applied this morning.

God has a plan for everything. I feel as if God has just opened my heart to something that I have never even considered before. The reality of this actually coming into fruition is very very slim, but the thought of it happening shows how God is so mighty that even the smallest things are able to be used by Him.

I feel like I'm beating around the bush.

I have studied some form of sign language since I was in the 4th or 5th grade. In my hometown, they offerred classes to kids in the summer. I took a class pretty much every summer. I took Creative Writing, a Space/NASA class, and I took a sign language class. I remember taking home my sign language practice books and learning "Little Red Riding Hood." I loved it. I continued to learn ASL during high school, college, and now I'm teaching the youth at my church. I am not fluent, but I can tell a child about Jesus with my hands. I have even looked into becoming an interrepreter before. Needless to say, it's a hobby.

I have a passion for adoption. I would love to adopt or even work with parents who are trying to adopt. I have been praying that God changes the husband's heart with adoption. He is hesitant because he doesn't want to have a non-white child because he doesn't want the child to have to explain why he/she is red/yellow/black/white and his parents are straight up crackers. He also worries about the financial part of the adoptions. I would never push anything on him that he wasn't comfortable with, which is why I'm hoping that God changes his mind.

I was looking at a adoption conference that is coming up in May that I am considering attending. I was checking out the breakout sessions and I noticed that there was one that says:
Adopting the Deaf Child (Johnny and Beth Carr, Bethany Christian Services) ASL, Signed English, Cochlear Implant - all issues you will deal with when considering adopting a deaf child. When you adopt a deaf child, you actually enter the child's culture instead of the child entering your culture. Johnny and Beth Carr will share what they have learned from their experiences through two adoptions of deaf children and what you should consider if you are interesting in adopting a deaf child. (Adoption).

This is when the weird thing happened.

I broke down. Literally.

It was like God was telling me that my education and passion could be brought together to love a child. I have never even considered mixing the two together. Deaf children need to be loved to and I would be able to tell them that I loved them very much.

I was sitting in my office crying like an unstable lady, when I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Crap. Someone was about to walk in and think I have lost my mind. Well, it was the husband. He showed up to take me to lunch without even calling. I was able to reassure him that I was not dying and that everything was okay. He was able to see my heart and how I truely felt about adoption. I'm going to start praying that God shows us what He wants us to do.

When Can I Round Up?

Doot Do DO DO!!!!

That's my trumpet fanfare, in case anyone couldn't tell. I feel like I blog a lot about trying to get into shape, but I feel as if this is the safest place for it. If I fail and put the weight back on, or stop working out all together and there are numerous posts in Facebook about it, then my failures are posted for everyone to see.

I have almost lost a full 5 lbs!!!!!!! Give me two more days of watching what I eat and exercising like DJ Tanner, and I will officially be 5 lbs lighter.

Would it be okay to start telling people that I lost 10 lbs, when I really lost 5 because the teachers always told me that you round up after you hit 5?

I'm really proud of myself because I have gotten over the working out by yourself thing at the gym. I have also been known to jump right up beside a stranger on the next machine. Yesterday I even got on the elliptical beside an attractive male and I didn't care how loud I was huffing and puffing. The trick is to have your music up loud enough that you can't hear yourself breathe. I also have found that reading my Kindle helps because the time passes so much quicker.

2

I have lost 2 whole pounds. It's a solid two pounds, not just water weight. I can tell that I am tightening up. My leg muscles are getting tighter, but the scale is not moving very easily. I'm trying to stay positive and find the joy in the little successes...like two pounds. My weight easily goes up and down at least 5 lbs during the day, but now it is two pounds less. I'm still working out! I'm not going to let bronchitis and a cold stand in my way!!!

A Small Act

I normally don't enjoy documentaries or subtitles, but on a Saturday morning when you don't have cable and nothing else is on...documentaries are good. This past Saturday I saw the BEST movie/documentary called A Small Act.

A SMALL ACT Trailer 2010 from Jennifer Arnold on Vimeo.

It was so so good!!!! I can't wait till I can purchase it and let my friends borrow it. It shows perfectly how one small act of kindness and generosity can change a life. This movie was so inspiring for me because there are days at work when I feel helpless and I desperately need a thank you from a client or a sweet statement for a child telling me that they love Ms. Dana. I can only hope that the small things I do every day will impact someone else's life.

My favorite part of the movie was when Chris gave Hilde a Harvard Mom sweatshirt because she truly was the one that started him in that direction. I have to admit that I busted into the Ugly Cry.

I was so into the movie, that I was excited when Andrew woke up and was able to finish the movie with me. I was excited because I had someone to share this movie with. Chris was so passionate about education and how it could change a child's life. I also really enjoyed how when the scholarships were handed out to the children, they would ask them what they wanted to be when they grew up. Those children from Kenya wanted to be doctors and lawyers and they fully believe that with those scholarships, they can do that. It was an amazing AMAZING documentary and I can't wait to watch it again.

New Favorite Band!

One of the (many) things I have struggled with in my short lifespan is wanting to be able to be myself. As a naturally positive person, sometimes I struggle when I feel lonely or not quite happy. I feel that people expect certain qualities to show up when they are around me. They expect a big smile and laughter. I am that way most of the time, but sometimes I just want to be quiet or sullen and not make people laugh or be the witty one.

With Valentine's Day right around the corner, I can't help but be thankful for my Valentine. He understands better than anyone that sometimes I just want to be.

I have recently fallen in love the Drew Holcomb and The Neighbors. They have a song entitled I Like to be with me when I'm with You. Long, I know. Their lyrics describe perfectly how I feel when I'm with my husband.

If i could live on the moon
I would rather stay in Tennessee with you

If i could sail across the ocean
The ocean would just be blue without you

If i could climb up Mount Everest
I would turn around and climb in bed with you

With you I can be myself
With you I don't have to be somebody else
It's like puttin on my favorite pair of shoes
I like to be with me when I'm with you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RnGqjSWNEk
This is a link to their music video for Fire and Dynamite. It's worth listening to. I promise!

Steph-I would also like for you to marry the guy at 3:13 and their bass player. Thank you very much for making this happen!

You never know

I'm basically in a state of shock. You grow up thinking certain thoughts about people and then you realize that those thoughts were just assumptions. Would it be weird to apologize to someone for the assumptions you made about them?

When I was 14 years old, I had my first boyfriend. He basically took over my life. I was obsessed to say the least. He consumed my time, my thoughts, my everything.

There was also this girl. I can't remember if she came around the first time the boy and I were dating or the second (because apparently I enjoy getting my heart ripped out of my chest twice) but the girl annoyed the snot out of me. Every time she saw my boyfriend and he saw her, they would do this slow-motion run thing towards each other.

I hated it. I hated it so much that to this day, ten years later, I still don't like this girl very much. She was pretty and perky and popular. Everything that I was not. I was the band dork who was waiting for the day for her "perfect" boyfriend to wake up and realize that the other girl was better. I voiced my feelings to the boyfriend and told him that I didn't like when they did that and I was jealous. He told me he understood and said they would stop. Then after we broke up, I found out that he had told the girl that I was really jealous and they could still hug but not in front of me. Classy, huh? She was skinny and beautiful and sang beautifully. In my mind, she was one of THOSE girls. You know, the ones who seem to have everything going for them.

While getting on facebook this morning, it popped up on my News Feed that she had a blog. I'm a sucker for blogs so I decided to check hers out. I found out things about her that I never would have guessed.

In her blog she confessed to having an eating disorder and what all she is doing to try to recover. She shared to be diagnosed to having major depression and that most of her family had been diagnosed as well. The fact that hit me like a ton of bricks was that before she was diagnosed, she tried to kill herself. When she was 16, she held a gun to her head and was going to kill herself.

I can't handle her good, and I can't handle her bad.

Here I was with these feelings of teenage jealousy when this girl really needed someone she could be honest with. This girl was a Christian and had many many friends, but apparently she felt that it wasn't good enough.

I can't help but feel like I need to get down on my knees and thank God for the life that I have, even the flaws and imperfections that he has given me. God has given me strength and He gave the high school version of Dana enough perseverance to make it through those years. I had a lot of heart break during those years. I dealt with my father and his depression. I had that "perfect" boyfriend break up with me and date my best friend. I had a lot of drama with my friends. But God loved me and provided better friends, a better boyfriend (who became the hubby), and a personality that I believes makes up for the fact that I might not be that girl who makes the heads turn when she walks into the room.

My world has been rocked. If my thoughts and misconceptions were so wrong about her, what else are the wrong about. I feel so awful about the things I thought about her. She needed that hug, regardless from who it was from.

This girl is now married, and I hope that God has blessed her with a supportive husband who helps her by reminding her to take her pills, to eat, and to trust fully in the Lord and not in others.

I assume that this post has a lot of typos or grammatical errors. I didn't have much time, but I wanted to get these thoughts out.

Thanks you,God for making me me and knowing what You are doing.

Happy 2011!

I'm so happy that it's 2011. I feel as if 2010 was kinda one of those stepping stone years. Kinda like some episodes on TV that aren't that funny, but you have to have those episodes to get to the great episodes.

The best thing that happened in 2010 was that I made some wonderful friends in our little town. Now that I have gotten to to know them so well, I can't imagine going through life without meeting them. But as far as big developments or changes in 2010, it just didn't happen. Same job, same husband with his same job, same house, same school, and same dog...wait we did get a new puppy. Not that I'm complaining about 2o10 because I would much rather have a boring but satisfying year versus 2009 which had mom diagnosed with cancer, school starting, buying a home. I get tired just thinking about 2009.

I always make resolutions, or goals for the upcoming years. I think it's fun, even though I keep my resolutions very very rarely. One of my biggest resolutions this year is to lose weight and get in shape. My husband has lost about 30 lbs since we got married, and I have found them. I am going to be a bridesmaid in June (yay!!!!!) and I want to not only look good in the dress, but feel good about myself as well. I also want to get in shape before we start a family. I know that after I have a baby my body will never be the same again BUT I have heard that it is easier to get back into shape if you already have a routine going before then. I am also graduating from school in 2012 and the plan is to go on a cruise with this beautiful couple...

Yeah...why do we need to have such beautiful friends? Who needs 6-pack abs? I want to be able to wear a two piece effortlessly and feel confident.

I did attempt my first P90x video last night. I am actually very proud of myself. We did the cardio video and I kept up with it the majority of the time. I only stopped a few times, but I attempted everything. Today my thighs are a little sore, my back is tight, and my shoulders hurt, but nothing I can't handle. I was worried that I would have to stay cooped up in the bed covered with ice packs.

Here are my resolutions for 2011:

1. Get in shape

2. Read more books. So far in this year I have read 2 books, and it's only the 4th.

Happy 2011!!!