Capture It, Remember It

Yes, the title of this post is from a Taylor Swift song. I am not ashamed.

Next month, Andrew and I will have been married for two years. I can't believe that we have gotten to this point. This point of having a routine and being married.

Can you believe I married this guy? By the look of this picture, it looks like I don't even like him,haha. I try to remember little moments. Little things that aren't that important, but it's the little moments that make me happy.

The other Monday, I had just spent six hours in class and then drove home. I was exhausted! At that point of my day, I couldn't even muster any facial expressions. I probably just grunted at him when I entered through the door. I went straight to our bathroom to get ready for bed. I was standing there brushing my teeth with my old-fashioned regular toothbrush.

It's always a joke between us because Andrew likes his electric toothbrush and he makes fun of me because of all the "work" I put into brushing my teeth with my regular toothbrush.

Anyway, Andrew came into the bathroom while I was brushing my teeth, put his arms around me and began to make a buzzing sound like his toothbrush. At one point he made my toothbrush "die" and he quickly pulled out his drawer and put a battery in his mouth. The buzzing immediately commenced. I couldn't help but laugh and be thankful for a husband who have eight years of being "Andrew and Dana" can still make me laugh.

I have a stressful and emotional job. It is so wonderful to know that I can come home (most of the time) and have a husband who understands and is willing to do whatever to make my evening less stressful.

Tanning Beds

Don't you want to be beautiful?
Don't you want to be tan and beautiful?

I admit, I went to a tanning bed for a little while in college.
I also went a little bit during the summer after college.
My reasons were because I couldn't lay out and get a tan, I would look weird if I didn't.

That all changed once my mom was diagnosed with cancer.
I saw how painful chemotherapy was.
I saw how awful surgery recovery was.

I realized something that I hope others will realize:
Why would you purposely put yourself at MORE of a risk for cancer?

I don't smoke because it's gross but because I don't want lung cancer.
I go to the gynecologist to prevent cervical and ovarian cancer.
Why in the world would I go to a tanning bed?
Because being tan makes me more beautiful?
Because I get my Vitamin D?
So I don't have tan lines?
That's ridiculous.
NEWS FLASH:
No one cares how tan you are!

Don't get me wrong, I do prefer being tanner than paler. When I have the opportunity to lay out by the parents' pool, I do...but I put on massive amounts of sunblock to take preventions.

I can't help but hold my tongue when I hear brides talking about tanning,
almost as if it's a part of the wedding planning:
1. Dress
2. Hair
3. Nails
4. Shoes
5. Tanning

Tanning is not necessary to be a beautiful bride. I did not touch a tanning bed for my wedding. I just dealt with it, but also because I got married in December.

Friends, please be smart about tanning.
It's not worth it.
I have never ever heard a doctor say that it is necessary for someone's health to lay in a tanning bed. Even if it's "only for 15 minutes a few times a week."
Believe me I've heard that one before.
Be smart.
Being Tan is not worth hours of chemotherapy.

Zumba!

Zumba!!!

It is all the rage right now.

I was so excited to find that the community center at the next town over was offering Zumba for only $3.oo. The class is taught 3 nights a week, but I can only attend twice due to class.

I was so excited, but I became even more excited when my friend Elizabeth said that she would go with me.

We walked into our class a little nervous.

It was in an old classroom.

There were 5 of us, and we were all about the same size.

After class, I knew that I had found my true calling...

a Zumba instructor!!

I was good! I was picking up the moves quickly.

All I needed to do was to get to where I wasn't breathing so hard and memorize the dances.

I was set!

When Thursday night came along, I was so excited to enhance my zumbaing skills.

Elizabeth and I had even convinced another friend to come with us.

There was a problem though...we had a different teacher this time. A skinny, peppy girl that I have known for about 10 years. Bridgette.

Bridgette and I had done colorguard during the same time and her friend dated my friend for several years in high school. Andrew was even a groomsmen for that friend's wedding.

She murdered me.

Any thoughts I had about being a successful Zumba teacher flew out of the window.
I looked as if I had never had control over any of my arms or legs.

Bridgette was like a cat on speed. I looked like a fish out of water.

I couldn't help but think while I was watching her, that I used to be able to move my body like that.

Today I am a little sore, but I can't wait to go back and learn. Just you wait, I am going to get it!

When to say goodbye?

I'm having some problems. When you are emotionally attached to your job and the people that you work with, when is is a good time to leave?

That might sound a tad bit crazy, I realize this. I do love my job and I love my boss and office manager more than I love my job. I enjoy the relationships with my clients. I enjoy the fact that my boss let me pick out the paint color of my new office (lavender by the way). I love that every year I feel myself improving with my organizational skills. I have not reached the point at my job where I am burnt out or feel as if I have learned all that I need to learn.

Why do you want to leave you might ask?

Well...I'll tell you. I don't make very much money AT ALL. I work for a nonprofit which means that we have to fundraise the money for me to get the green. I haven't really gotten a raise either. They try to make up for it with little things, such as paying for my mileage and giving us a long time off of work for Christmas, but I've got bills to pay. I don't want to have to live almost paycheck to paycheck. Why would I stay at a job that I enjoy for little money when I can find a job that pays a lot more that I could also enjoy.

Did I mention I got punched in the nose working a fundraiser for my job? Yup. A full on "Bring it on, Sista" fight. It would be nice to not only be at a job where I don't have to worry about my job security every year when it's time to make budget cuts in the state and it would be even nice to not have to work on fundraisers.

There is never a good time to leave my job.
If I leave now, that would be right before Christmas and that would leave even more stress on the people that I love because they would have to pick up more of the slack. During Christmas time, it is normal for us to work til about 4 am several nights in a row to get Christmas worked on for our clients.

If I leave after Christmas, that's right before Dinner and Auction, our biggest fundraiser of the year. The other girl who had the job before me did that. Not cool in my boss's play book.

If you leave after Dinner and Auction, I will leave all of my clients to be seen and notes to be completed by a boss that doesn't have time to focus on her duties as a supervisor because she is so busy with everything else.

I also don't want to spring anything on anyone. She asked me to tell her when Andrew and I start to make a family because she told me that nine months wasn't long enough to process what to do while I'm on maternity leave. I'm guessing that this goes the same way. We've had people leave before. My friend Katie left after being on the job only a few months because the job that she really wanted came open and they were going to pay more and pay for her college. Nobody could really blame her for that one. My friend Robin left after working here for 3 years and she wanted a job at the school system so that she could have breaks with her children. No one could blame her for those reasons either.

I know that I will leave eventually. I'm getting my Masters and I don't get much of a raise once that is completed and I don't want to be a director.

I found a job opening that I might enjoy. It pays almost $10,000 more than my job does now. It's enough to start making me think.

Jealousy

My entire life I have struggled with not being good enough. With being ordinary. With not being pretty enough. Skinny enough, and the list could go on and on.

I've been dealing with the feelings of being ordinary. God uses the ordinary. He has to use the ordinary and not the spectacular because only God deserves the glory for the work He has done. I heard a woman who struggles with dyslexia talk about how she has written more books than she has read. She believed that that was possible because God had to take a person who didn't have a thought in her head in order for the book to be completely from Him.

I can't handle your good or your bad.
Sometimes I look at the beautiful people and wish that I had their jobs, body, life, spirit, faith, family....
But I have to remind myself that, yeah, their good is GREAT but could I handle their bad as well? Yes, she's a great writer but that is always expected of her. Yes, she's beautiful but is that all the people see when they look at her?

God has put me where He wants me for a reason. He has given me skills and the faith to deal with my good and my bad.

I'll take Steph for instance. She has a "glamorous" job where she gets to talk to all sorts of important people. Every day is different and she can move anywhere she wants. Hawaii anyone? That is so great, but I couldn't handle being in a job where my looks are very important and I worked in such a hostile and unChristian environment every day. I don't think I could handle being away from my family or spend the majority of my days begging for interviews.

I can't handle her good or her bad.

My friend Jessica. She seems to got it all together spiritually and is very smart when it comes to the bible. Her home is clean and she can cook better than Paula Deen! Her husband has been layed off for like a year now and they were wondering what they were going to do when his unemployment check runs out and they just found out that they are pregnant with twins. I couldn't handle that stress. Jessica can. Jessica just got a promotion and they have decided that her hubby is going to be a stay-at-home dad. God provided, but it was that inbetween where I don't think I could handle it.

I can't handle her good or her bad.

I hear all the time from Stephanie, "I don't know how you put up with [insert situation here]. "

She can't handle my good or my bad.

I have to trust and rely on the fact that God knows what He is doing. Don't get me wrong, I'm not unhappy with my life. I love my husband, job, house, dogs, and family but sometimes I just get caught up with comparing and dreaming about what if.